Over But Not Done!

Okay, so the 'Losing It' series at church is done, however my journey is very far from done.  I hope that you continue to follow my journey.

This week Kurt and I are doing a cleanse with a no meat and no carbs (except from veggies).  It's amazing how little can satisfy me now.  I mean, in a heart beat I could stuff my face but the actual amount of food that it takes to satisfy me is not much.  On Sunday Pastor Bob talked about following God's plan should be a continual state of rest.  Although this week is absolutely crazy-busy at work with the first HUGE TAKS test coming next week,  feel at peace and restful with the way things are going.  Today while working, I was beginning to maybe see part of the bigger picture of things in my life.  It was encouraging.

Workouts this week are lighter due to the lower amount of food we are eating.  Tonight's workout was tough, but mostly because my body was a little weaker.  I would have flat passed out if we had worked as hard as last week tonight!!  Speaking of hard workouts last week.  I was so proud of myself for climbing the BIG hill on Saturday.  It was so hard.  I literally had to keep reminding myself that I just had to put one foot in front of the other.  I was out of breath; I was sweating profusely; every muscle in my body ached.  But I did it.  I climbed that hill 3 times!!  This is the top of the hill.  That little bitty park just off my right shoulder is the bottom!!

Losing It finale

The series at Northwood that helped catapult my journey is over, however, my journey is far from over! Besides the fact that Laurie is going to keep working with us for another week, I still have about 125 pounds to lose!!! On to my results!!!

I lost another 5 pounds this week! That's a total of 19 pounds in 21 days!

I wanted to post a quick update to let everyone know about the final weigh in. I will write more later on my thoughts about the whole thing. Right now I'm exhausted from my evening of prepping for the week. Luckily I know it will get easier and quicker!

Thanks for following me thus far and please continue to do so. I need you support and encouragement to get thru.

Thursday Thoughts

I'll share a few thoughts that I've kept in my notes app on my phone until I had time to write. 

• Luke 15:11-29 - The Parable of the Prodigal Son.  I am so lucky to have a Heavenly Father who has treated me as a 'prodigal son' as I've finally come full circle in my obedience in the area of my weight.  I was lost for many, many years.  Yet when I was ready to 'come home', He welcomed me with open arms,  threw a party and invited all His friends.  How blessed am I that I have a loving husband who would also treat me the same.  I've let Kurt down so many times by saying that I was ready to 'get serious' only to turn around and sabotage myself shortly afterwards.  I'm so blessed!!  

• Kurt and I have a very different journey to weight-loss, but we can still very much take it together.  Kurt is about 50 pounds away from his goal where I am about 125 pounds away from my goal.  He's excited about getting in to goal weight clothes and running a 5K or more.  I'm excited about being able to walk up the stairs without huffing and puffing so bad that I can't talk.  Our journey's are different, but I know that Kurt is going to be there to support me all the way thru my journey even when he's at goal.

• It stinks.  It stinks that I never really fully accepted that I was a size 26.  I was squeezing into most of my 24s.  In fact, I only owned two pair of 26 pants.  So I know I've lost a good amount of weight, but I'm ready to shed these clothes!  I want to wear something new or at least something from the 'other' side of my closet.  It's great that my clothes actually fit now, but they're still the same clothes.  I don't think it'll be long until I'm in a 22, but until then I'm stuck with the same clothes.  (Just a little vent!  I said it would get real in here!!)

Sunday's Victory

I just realized I didn't post on my blog my official weigh-in update.  It was in the pictures, but not in a post.

I LOST ANOTHER 5 POUNDS!!!  14 pounds in 2 weeks...a pound a day!!

I'm excited to see what this week brings.  My goal is to at least be 'free from three'...out of the 300s forever!!

Not much to update this week.  I'm treking along on this journey.

A few prayer requests!

• Work is getting really busy as I prepare for the first spring rounds of TAKS/STAAR testing.  I'm realizing how hard it is going to be in a few weeks when I'm really stressed not to fall back into bad eating habits.  You can begin to pray for me now.  The month of March is going to be stressful.  
• Pray for my left knee.  I have previously had 3 surgeries (but the last was over 15 years ago) on it to correct some hereditary positioning issues.  My knee is really bothering me.  I've been having pain and it's been giving out some and just doesn't feel right.  The knee braces in the store don't fit around my leg and it costs $50 to order one that might work online (we can't purchase one right now).  Please pray for healing.
• Pray for Kurt.  He leaves for Vietnam in 3 1/2 short weeks!!

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey and encouraging me.  I'm so happy to be finally moving forward with this area in my life.  

Photos of my Journey

Week 1 - 316!!

Week 2 - 307!!!

Week 3 - 302!!!

Last Chance Workout 2/18/12

Wake-up!

I Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Wake Up!! Don’t you see? The Holy Spirit lives inside you and inside of me.

He lives inside us and make us his home. Is He comfortable or does he feel all cramped and alone?

I hear you say, “I don’t have a fancy house, I’m not made of wealth”, but can you at least say, “Everything’s put away on the shelf?”

“No.” You say. Is it a mess or full of junk? Now aren’t you embarrassed that the Holy Spirit, King of Kings, Lord of Lords abides amidst this funk?

The things you put in your body should add fuel to the fire; to do God’s will and never, ever tire.

The things in your body should not hold you down; depress you, suppress you or keep you from moving around.

This freedom we have came at a very costly price. God has made the ultimate sacrifice.

You see this body that you have that you claim is full of junk, messed up and decayed, has been purchased by the pain and suffering of Jesus’ death on that gloomy day.

All those tears, all that pain, all the suffering that happened, was it all done in vain?

Surely you can now come to agree all the responsibility we have because Jesus hung on that tree.

Honor your body and in turn you honor our God, our Creator and our Maker.

Jodi Pafford
4/6/2011

Milestones and Convictions

MILESTONES: One of the great things about rapid weight-loss and shocking your body suddenly eating right is that you reach milestones quickly.  I want you to celebrate some of them with me.

• I can do push-ups!  In 2011 I was doing push-ups on the wall and they were tough!
• I did 10 sit-ups with a 6 pound ball!!!!!  This milestone almost made me cry.  On Tuesday I asked Laurie when I'd be able to do a sit-up as I was struggling to keep up with the others and couldn't even imagine doing a sit-up.  Just two days later I did sit-ups.  The momentum of the 6 pound ball helped, but 2 days ago I had a 6 pound ball and couldn't do it!  I'll also say that this was the 44th out of 45th exercise of the night!!!!!!
• I did suicide drills without stopping down and back almost the entire length of Laurie's driveway.
• A major milestone has been realizing just how strong I am.  I'm doing all these exercises carrying around 300 pounds.  God's going to allow me to do awesome things when I'm carrying way less than 300 pounds!!

CONVICTIONS: Even though I've surrendered my weight-loss to God, it's easy to slip back into the 'I' mode of it.  I found myself 3 times since Saturday thinking negative thoughts about not being able to do it or thinking 'wow, look at ME' thoughts.  I checked myself each time and remind myself that it's not about me, it's all about God.  As cliche as it sounds, I have found myself literally shouting, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!" to get through a workout set.  I did that tonight while doing wall squats and I was able to make it the entire time (with lots of moaning and grunting, of course)!  Yes, it's a cliche phrase, but think about how true it is.  God gave me my body and the strength I have to move comes only from Him.  


My biggest conviction came from some discouragement this week.  I keep stepping on the scale over and over wondering how much I had lost.  I became discouraged when I realized I hadn't dropped very much.  I was eating between 1200 and 1500 calories.  I never once put anything in my mouth that wasn't on the meal plan.  I was doing extra workouts...12 workouts in a week rather than just 10.  Then all of a sudden it was as if God slapped me in the face only it was that still small voice in my gut that I knew was Him.  He said, "Get off that scale and don't get back on!!".  Yes, Lord!!  So, as of this morning I will not be weighing myself until I step on the scale at Northwood on Sunday morning.  This journey is not all mine, it's the Lord's.  If I lose 2 or 3 pounds, great; if I lose 7 or 8 pounds, great.  Whatever I lose is from Him and of His will.  What could be more perfect than that?

Bye-Bye 9 Pounds!

Sunday was the first weigh in at Northwood Church.  I weighed again in front of the whole church to see how much I lost during our first week of competition.  It was really nerve-racking not knowing until that moment during first service.  All of 'Team Graves' did great!  I lost 9 pounds in one week!!!  I was thinking 7 or 8, so 9 was a nice surprise.  I lost nearly 2 bags of flour!  Next time you're in the grocery store look at a bag of flour and think about me.  Two bags of flour in pounds, gross!!  Bye-Bye...good riddance!!!

One of my favorite things about doing this is that it's really just real life.  I'm eating great food that I'm preparing, I haven't quite my job, I still have obligations and I still have 'real life' that gets in the way.  BUT...I still lost 9 pounds in one week.  You see, I used to tell myself that I couldn't work out everyday because I had to let my muscles rest.  I have NO idea where I heard that, but I took it as truth for a LONG time.  Then I got inspired.  Toward the end of last season of Biggest Loser they did a 'day in the life of' type segment on Sunny after she returned home.  It showed her doing boot camp in the morning before work then going home and doing more in the evening with a trainer.  Something clicked inside me.  She's an educator; she's from DFW; she can do it-so can I.  I was inspired by her to get started but the real strength to get it done has come from God.

Last year I worked-out with Laurie Graves and did a bible study and fitness program with her thru Northwood Church.  I loved the study and enjoyed the workout.  The problem was, I wasn't in God's word and most importantly I wasn't ready to let go of 'me' in the equation of weight-loss.  I was so sore from working out that I had to use a table or chair to brace myself when I got in or out of a chair.  Getting out of our platform bed was a painful nightmare.
I used to think:
-isn't it great what I can do
-look at me, I've lost 3 pounds
-I'm so strong, look what I can do
Everything was focused on what I could do.  I have now come to realize how little I can really do on my own.  I must have God by my side guiding my steps and telling me what to do.  I must realize that it is God's strength inside of me that allows me to do this.  It is God's strength inside of me that allows me to not be very sore even after 2 work-outs per day.  It's God's strength inside of me that helps me stand in the kitchen for 2 hours straight on Sunday night prepping food for the week.  It's God's strength inside me that pushes me to finish running around the volleyball court in 34 degree weather while pulling a 50 pound punching bag!  God's strength is amazing!!!!!

Week in Review...as of Friday

The week didn't exactly go as planned. That's not a bad thing, really. This week just didn't go as 'I' had planned!!

Joseph started coughing Sunday evening and by Tuesday he was home from school with fever and strep. Thankfully Kurt was able to stay home. This threw off workout routines since I was up most of the night. It threw off our evening meal prep routine.
Funny thing is, this was part of Gods plan. We really had no intention on going to the marriage conference at church this weekend. It's not that we didn't want to but we couldn't really afford it and with all the prep involved in the meals we needed the weekend to do laundry, shop and prep. Well we stopped and prayed about it and decided that if God could provided funding and childcare we would go. God provided all of that!!! Then when Joseph got sick, it was a blessing in disguise because Kurt was able to get a head start on tidying the house and doing laundry while home with Joseph.

Food: I've really enjoyed most meals. I love cooking and after being scared to cook fish, I've become pretty good and it sounds good. I have not been toyed by food. I've been around be food but I've not been tempted to eat!!!

I wanted to get some thoughts down while they were on my mind. However, I'm falling asleep. I better listen and write more later.

I Was Made For This

I was made for this.
I may want to retract that tomorrow morning when I wake up at 5:00 after my first 2 workout day but I can't get that phrase out of my head.  I feel like my body is saying, "Thank you for feeding me natural foods", "Thank you for moving me around more", "Thank you for testing my limits".  I'm eating delicious foods in small servings.  I'm cooking and eating very few, if any processed foods.  I'm taking the time to cut up veggies and prepare ahead of time.
This is not just about 'dieting', it's about changing habits and doing something long term.

The Cat is Out of the Bag

Well, I did it.  I stood on stage at church and let hundreds and hundreds of people know how much I weigh.  The truth is, it was a freeing experience.  No, really, it was.  I have nothing to hide behind.  I have nowhere else to go but up...well, I mean down on the scale, but up in life!!

So those of you who are following my journey but did not attend Northwood this morning are out of luck on knowing my weight.  Just kidding.  It's seems odd to share this with the whole world via the World Wide Web, but I pray that my journey can help others.  That said, part of my journey is sharing my weight.  In true Biggest Loser fashion... "Your current weight is...beep, beep, beep, beep....316 pounds".

Wait! What?  316 pounds??  Yes, 316 pounds.  I used to say that because I was so tall and 'hid' my weight, I'd never share my actual weight with anybody.  It may be true that I don't look like you would think 316 pounds should look like, but as I always say at work, "Data (Numbers) don't lie, but they don't tell the whole story!!".  How fitting that my mantra at work totally applies to my current situation.  Yes,  it is just a number, but that number says a lot.

That number says,
*Jodi, you are never going to change
*Jodi, you've tried before, what would be different this time
*Jodi, you were meant to be big...you're a tall girl
*Jodi, not everybody can be skinny
*Jodi, why would you want to torture yourself with a diet
*Jodi, it's not like you'll feel any different after you lose weight

But the great thing is this:  I have a God who says much more than that number.
God says,
*Jodi, now is your time for change
*Jodi, there's so much more I have planned for you
*Jodi, you are loved
*Jodi, I need you to do this so you can do My work

This week I have been preparing myself for this public journey and today it began.  Thank you for supporting me and encouraging me.  Stay tuned for more...

What you see is what you get

I am who I am.  


I am a child of God.  I am loved by Him; cherished by Him.  I was created in the image of God.  I was born and again and washed clean.  I am a new creation.  I was bought with a price more costly than anything I can imagine.  I am a living, breathing instrument being used to further His Kingdom.


I am me.

This journey is not all about weight loss.  Just as my blog title eludes, I am embarking on a journey that will encompass all aspects of my life.  My goal is to be honest and open with things as I encounter them.  My goal is to share me with you.

There are thoughts constantly running thru my head the last few days.  I have wanted to get them on paper, but that hasn't worked.  Every time I try to sit and write, it's like my fingers don't know where to start typing.  I have written 2 partial blog posts that are still in Draft form but I am determine to get at least one of them posted.  Therefore, I'm going to try to get some thoughts on paper, so bare with me.

This week, I have spent lots of time in prayer.  I have also spent time fending off attacks from Satan.  You see, as I said earlier, this is more than just a weight-loss journey.  This is a journey of freedom from food addiction, freedom from bondage that food has been in my life and freedom from the chains that all that entails.  As I am trying to get free, Satan wants me to stay in my bondage; he likes me there.  But God has bigger things planned for my life and God is bigger than any bondage that controls me.  The hard part for me is trusting and believing that it can be overcome.  In tough situations, it's easy for me to put my trust in God.  It's easy for me to lean on Him when there's nowhere else to go.  But when an addiction has taken over your entire life, leaning on Him becomes harder and harder because it doesn't ever seem like it will get better.  I've probably said no less than 500 times that I was going to lose weight and eat healthy, only to purposely sabotage myself in order to prove that I couldn't be successful so I didn't disappoint myself.  This time I'm not saying that.  This time I'm saying that I'm going to allow God to work in me and thru me to make me a new creation.

One week ago, I had no idea what was about to unfold, but so far it's been amazing to see how timing and circumstances couldn't have been any better.

Thank you God for loving me enough not to give up on me and giving me another chance out.

Romans 8:11

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹¹ If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus^[a] from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.