Some Deep Thoughts on Last Week

So this past week has been the very busiest in many, many years.  As test coordinator at Eastern Hills High School I am in charge of organizing, prepping and maintaining security for all the state mandated testing.  Any educators out there understand what a huge task that must be for a campus of 1200.  Plus, not to mention that this year our 9th graders are on STAAR and 10-12 are still on TAKS.  It's a crazy world.  Well, the short of it is that I had NO idea what a huge task it really was.  I knew everything that needed to be done.  I knew how to do it all.  What I didn't anticipate was how LONG everything would take!  Not to mention that the campus was crazy with 3 administrators gone all week.  So, as Tuesday night came and I HAD to have everything ready for Wednesday morning, I had a panic attack.  Almost literally.  It was 6:30 and I realized that even if I pulled an all-nighter all the labels wouldn't get on the books and answer documents and all my folders wouldn't get made.  I felt sick at my stomach and the thought of food made me want to puke even though I hadn't eaten since around 10:00 that morning.  It was in that moment that I felt like I saw a HUGE neon sign said, "Jodi, you can't do this alone.  You need help!"


I don't like to admit that I need help on something.  I like to take credit for things.  There's this guilt complex that starts to happen when I ask for help and I feel horrible for inconveniencing somebody else.  But, in this instance, I had NO choice.  I remember a co-worke/friend saying as she left for the evening, "are you sure you don't need anything else?" and like a robot I replied, "No, I'm fine".   So, while holding back tears, I called her and said I needed help.  She got dressed and came up to the school to help.  Together we did what would have taken me all night in about 2 1/2 hours!  So we left the school at 9:30 and each of us brought a few things home to complete.  On the way home, I fell apart and sobbed.  I called my sister and was so thankful she answered the phone.  She prayed for me and just listened to me vent almost the entire way home.  I am so blessed to have her to call and any time when I need it.  As soon as I got home I fell apart again in Kurt's arms.  I think I'd been holding that cry in for a good while.  He took everything out of my hands, made me sit at the kitchen table and eat something.  Again, I'm so blessed to be surrounded by so much support!  So thinking back to my feelings: I felt stupid for not asking for help sooner (part of it was pride but part of it was honestly not knowing how long it would take).  But now I know!!  I know I must rely on others. 


Now isn't that so much like our spiritual life?  Are you like me and don't feel worthy to ask for help spiritually.  In meditating on these thoughts this week, I found that this 'not asking for help' thing is a major issue for me.  I feel bad when I ask for a prayer request.  How silly is that?  I guess I'm just a 'jolly Jodi' and so when I have an issue I try to see the best in it.  That doesn't make sense.  Anyway, I've yet to get to the root of all of this in my life, but I have committed to try to more transparent with my needs.  What are your thoughts?  Any suggestions for getting out of this 'not seeking help' complex I have discovered I have?  


So, as far as weight-loss goes this week....I didn't lose anything.  I gained 1 pound.  I didn't workout at all.  I was up until almost 1am every night and out the door at 5:30 every morning getting things ready for the testing.  I tried to eat good, but I often had to settle for a Lara Bar or Cliff Bar instead of my salad and veggies.  So overall I'm happy to have only gained 1 pound. I  was afraid that after 4 weeks of being so strict that my body would revolt and gain a lot.  Since I was kind of out of it nutrition-wise last week, I'm finding it hard to kick back into it.  I don't want to go to the gym.  But I will and I am in the morning.  I'm just hoping that once I go tomorrow morning I will live off that adrenaline feeling and will yearn for it again.  I'm not stopping by any means, just feeling less motivated.

Blessings, Surprises and an Update

You know, when I started this journey I knew I was supposed to do this, however, I had NO idea that impact that would be had on those around me.  I also had no idea how blessing would be turned right around on me.  Let me share a few things with you.

Yesterday while heading to Kroger Marketplace to get groceries for our week, I realized I needed gas.  I pulled up to the Kroger gas station and politely (or not so politely) handed Kurt my Kroger Plus Card so he could get gas.  He was in the middle of writing a message on his phone so I hop out to pump gas (but admitingly not happy with it).  Anyway, I get out and start pumping and a gentleman approaches me.  He asks if I go to Northwood Church.  I say yes and he proceeds to tell me how he thinks I'm such an inspiration and he admires my bravery.  WOW, what a surprise!  A complete stranger approaching me about getting up on stage and sharing my weight-loss with everyone.  I knew people I know are supporting me but it's really cool to think that complete strangers are rooting for me too!  After I got back in the car I realized why I was supposed to be the one pumping gas last night!

We've received many blessing this past week as well.  I want to share them with you so you can rejoice in what God is doing in our lives.

• Somebody has purchased me the knee brace that I needed!
• We received a gift card to Sprouts!
• We received spending cash for Kurt's trip to Vietnam and a small stash for me!
• We received money to purchase Kurt a new professional wardrobe!

God is so good!!  Kurt's work clothes no longer looked professional because they were all baggy.  Our grocery budget has slightly expanded and I really needed a knee brace to maximize my workouts!  

Also a weight-loss update.  I lost 3 pounds this week!!  This week has literally been the busiest all school year for me as Test Coordinator and Data Analyst and I'm thrilled to have lost 3 pounds.  I was only able to make it to two of our three workouts and I only went to the gym one morning.  Next week will look very similar to this past week.  I'm so ready for Spring Break....5 more days!!!!!!