Some Deep Thoughts on Last Week

So this past week has been the very busiest in many, many years.  As test coordinator at Eastern Hills High School I am in charge of organizing, prepping and maintaining security for all the state mandated testing.  Any educators out there understand what a huge task that must be for a campus of 1200.  Plus, not to mention that this year our 9th graders are on STAAR and 10-12 are still on TAKS.  It's a crazy world.  Well, the short of it is that I had NO idea what a huge task it really was.  I knew everything that needed to be done.  I knew how to do it all.  What I didn't anticipate was how LONG everything would take!  Not to mention that the campus was crazy with 3 administrators gone all week.  So, as Tuesday night came and I HAD to have everything ready for Wednesday morning, I had a panic attack.  Almost literally.  It was 6:30 and I realized that even if I pulled an all-nighter all the labels wouldn't get on the books and answer documents and all my folders wouldn't get made.  I felt sick at my stomach and the thought of food made me want to puke even though I hadn't eaten since around 10:00 that morning.  It was in that moment that I felt like I saw a HUGE neon sign said, "Jodi, you can't do this alone.  You need help!"


I don't like to admit that I need help on something.  I like to take credit for things.  There's this guilt complex that starts to happen when I ask for help and I feel horrible for inconveniencing somebody else.  But, in this instance, I had NO choice.  I remember a co-worke/friend saying as she left for the evening, "are you sure you don't need anything else?" and like a robot I replied, "No, I'm fine".   So, while holding back tears, I called her and said I needed help.  She got dressed and came up to the school to help.  Together we did what would have taken me all night in about 2 1/2 hours!  So we left the school at 9:30 and each of us brought a few things home to complete.  On the way home, I fell apart and sobbed.  I called my sister and was so thankful she answered the phone.  She prayed for me and just listened to me vent almost the entire way home.  I am so blessed to have her to call and any time when I need it.  As soon as I got home I fell apart again in Kurt's arms.  I think I'd been holding that cry in for a good while.  He took everything out of my hands, made me sit at the kitchen table and eat something.  Again, I'm so blessed to be surrounded by so much support!  So thinking back to my feelings: I felt stupid for not asking for help sooner (part of it was pride but part of it was honestly not knowing how long it would take).  But now I know!!  I know I must rely on others. 


Now isn't that so much like our spiritual life?  Are you like me and don't feel worthy to ask for help spiritually.  In meditating on these thoughts this week, I found that this 'not asking for help' thing is a major issue for me.  I feel bad when I ask for a prayer request.  How silly is that?  I guess I'm just a 'jolly Jodi' and so when I have an issue I try to see the best in it.  That doesn't make sense.  Anyway, I've yet to get to the root of all of this in my life, but I have committed to try to more transparent with my needs.  What are your thoughts?  Any suggestions for getting out of this 'not seeking help' complex I have discovered I have?  


So, as far as weight-loss goes this week....I didn't lose anything.  I gained 1 pound.  I didn't workout at all.  I was up until almost 1am every night and out the door at 5:30 every morning getting things ready for the testing.  I tried to eat good, but I often had to settle for a Lara Bar or Cliff Bar instead of my salad and veggies.  So overall I'm happy to have only gained 1 pound. I  was afraid that after 4 weeks of being so strict that my body would revolt and gain a lot.  Since I was kind of out of it nutrition-wise last week, I'm finding it hard to kick back into it.  I don't want to go to the gym.  But I will and I am in the morning.  I'm just hoping that once I go tomorrow morning I will live off that adrenaline feeling and will yearn for it again.  I'm not stopping by any means, just feeling less motivated.

Blessings, Surprises and an Update

You know, when I started this journey I knew I was supposed to do this, however, I had NO idea that impact that would be had on those around me.  I also had no idea how blessing would be turned right around on me.  Let me share a few things with you.

Yesterday while heading to Kroger Marketplace to get groceries for our week, I realized I needed gas.  I pulled up to the Kroger gas station and politely (or not so politely) handed Kurt my Kroger Plus Card so he could get gas.  He was in the middle of writing a message on his phone so I hop out to pump gas (but admitingly not happy with it).  Anyway, I get out and start pumping and a gentleman approaches me.  He asks if I go to Northwood Church.  I say yes and he proceeds to tell me how he thinks I'm such an inspiration and he admires my bravery.  WOW, what a surprise!  A complete stranger approaching me about getting up on stage and sharing my weight-loss with everyone.  I knew people I know are supporting me but it's really cool to think that complete strangers are rooting for me too!  After I got back in the car I realized why I was supposed to be the one pumping gas last night!

We've received many blessing this past week as well.  I want to share them with you so you can rejoice in what God is doing in our lives.

• Somebody has purchased me the knee brace that I needed!
• We received a gift card to Sprouts!
• We received spending cash for Kurt's trip to Vietnam and a small stash for me!
• We received money to purchase Kurt a new professional wardrobe!

God is so good!!  Kurt's work clothes no longer looked professional because they were all baggy.  Our grocery budget has slightly expanded and I really needed a knee brace to maximize my workouts!  

Also a weight-loss update.  I lost 3 pounds this week!!  This week has literally been the busiest all school year for me as Test Coordinator and Data Analyst and I'm thrilled to have lost 3 pounds.  I was only able to make it to two of our three workouts and I only went to the gym one morning.  Next week will look very similar to this past week.  I'm so ready for Spring Break....5 more days!!!!!!

Over But Not Done!

Okay, so the 'Losing It' series at church is done, however my journey is very far from done.  I hope that you continue to follow my journey.

This week Kurt and I are doing a cleanse with a no meat and no carbs (except from veggies).  It's amazing how little can satisfy me now.  I mean, in a heart beat I could stuff my face but the actual amount of food that it takes to satisfy me is not much.  On Sunday Pastor Bob talked about following God's plan should be a continual state of rest.  Although this week is absolutely crazy-busy at work with the first HUGE TAKS test coming next week,  feel at peace and restful with the way things are going.  Today while working, I was beginning to maybe see part of the bigger picture of things in my life.  It was encouraging.

Workouts this week are lighter due to the lower amount of food we are eating.  Tonight's workout was tough, but mostly because my body was a little weaker.  I would have flat passed out if we had worked as hard as last week tonight!!  Speaking of hard workouts last week.  I was so proud of myself for climbing the BIG hill on Saturday.  It was so hard.  I literally had to keep reminding myself that I just had to put one foot in front of the other.  I was out of breath; I was sweating profusely; every muscle in my body ached.  But I did it.  I climbed that hill 3 times!!  This is the top of the hill.  That little bitty park just off my right shoulder is the bottom!!

Losing It finale

The series at Northwood that helped catapult my journey is over, however, my journey is far from over! Besides the fact that Laurie is going to keep working with us for another week, I still have about 125 pounds to lose!!! On to my results!!!

I lost another 5 pounds this week! That's a total of 19 pounds in 21 days!

I wanted to post a quick update to let everyone know about the final weigh in. I will write more later on my thoughts about the whole thing. Right now I'm exhausted from my evening of prepping for the week. Luckily I know it will get easier and quicker!

Thanks for following me thus far and please continue to do so. I need you support and encouragement to get thru.

Thursday Thoughts

I'll share a few thoughts that I've kept in my notes app on my phone until I had time to write. 

• Luke 15:11-29 - The Parable of the Prodigal Son.  I am so lucky to have a Heavenly Father who has treated me as a 'prodigal son' as I've finally come full circle in my obedience in the area of my weight.  I was lost for many, many years.  Yet when I was ready to 'come home', He welcomed me with open arms,  threw a party and invited all His friends.  How blessed am I that I have a loving husband who would also treat me the same.  I've let Kurt down so many times by saying that I was ready to 'get serious' only to turn around and sabotage myself shortly afterwards.  I'm so blessed!!  

• Kurt and I have a very different journey to weight-loss, but we can still very much take it together.  Kurt is about 50 pounds away from his goal where I am about 125 pounds away from my goal.  He's excited about getting in to goal weight clothes and running a 5K or more.  I'm excited about being able to walk up the stairs without huffing and puffing so bad that I can't talk.  Our journey's are different, but I know that Kurt is going to be there to support me all the way thru my journey even when he's at goal.

• It stinks.  It stinks that I never really fully accepted that I was a size 26.  I was squeezing into most of my 24s.  In fact, I only owned two pair of 26 pants.  So I know I've lost a good amount of weight, but I'm ready to shed these clothes!  I want to wear something new or at least something from the 'other' side of my closet.  It's great that my clothes actually fit now, but they're still the same clothes.  I don't think it'll be long until I'm in a 22, but until then I'm stuck with the same clothes.  (Just a little vent!  I said it would get real in here!!)

Sunday's Victory

I just realized I didn't post on my blog my official weigh-in update.  It was in the pictures, but not in a post.

I LOST ANOTHER 5 POUNDS!!!  14 pounds in 2 weeks...a pound a day!!

I'm excited to see what this week brings.  My goal is to at least be 'free from three'...out of the 300s forever!!

Not much to update this week.  I'm treking along on this journey.

A few prayer requests!

• Work is getting really busy as I prepare for the first spring rounds of TAKS/STAAR testing.  I'm realizing how hard it is going to be in a few weeks when I'm really stressed not to fall back into bad eating habits.  You can begin to pray for me now.  The month of March is going to be stressful.  
• Pray for my left knee.  I have previously had 3 surgeries (but the last was over 15 years ago) on it to correct some hereditary positioning issues.  My knee is really bothering me.  I've been having pain and it's been giving out some and just doesn't feel right.  The knee braces in the store don't fit around my leg and it costs $50 to order one that might work online (we can't purchase one right now).  Please pray for healing.
• Pray for Kurt.  He leaves for Vietnam in 3 1/2 short weeks!!

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey and encouraging me.  I'm so happy to be finally moving forward with this area in my life.  

Photos of my Journey

Week 1 - 316!!

Week 2 - 307!!!

Week 3 - 302!!!

Last Chance Workout 2/18/12